Before going on I want to make things clear as assumptions will automatically rise by a few people when I post something this lengthy of a thread or assume something because I'm blacklisted, or assume something because of the kind of threads I use to post. This post is not a rant, this post is not a suggestion or constructive criticism against any of the servers or the community, and to add to that this I can't criticize anything of Revival if I haven't been on to experience it. This post is rather something more meaningful than that something more to praise Revival in a way, and I plead you to read it all, not nitpick it, not read some of it, I need you to read all of it in order to understand it. When you do finish reading it, thank you.
Before we get serious wanna go off-topic, go check out this fucking amazing NF album, I'm like in love with it: https://nf.lnk.to/thesearchYD
Back on topic, I want you to know me, and understand me.
[Oblivon/Darth]
On September of 2015, I was 16, I joined a somewhat small community called Oblivion which lasted to about 2016 I say this because Nomad starts at 2017, and in this small community I had zero connections at this time, and I didn't even do much in the servers except for Military Roleplay. What I think was the most successful server during the time, this was right before it switched to Darth Gaming, P.S. I'm very much allowed to say these community names because if you are unaware these communities are now dead. Once I joined the server I created a character in this Military RP that would become a staple to me, I've played on a few serious roleplay servers before then I was dedicated to TTT servers nonetheless. This character was named "Kai McCarthy" what a ringer, I was just a private in the U.S. Army and in the first two days I was promoted all the way up to corporal for I don't even fucking remember all I did was kill shit, and I got slapped with new ranks. It came to a point where a female named Captain Black had to demote me down to Specialist not because I didn't deserve it because there was a promotion cooldown for a week that I skipped too many times by then on my third day. There was no reason why I stayed other than that, something hooked me on there. From then on out, I started to make my way up the charts as a member of the community without even touching the forums yet.
There was this faction that came up called the Taliban, and it piqued my interest (P.S. Hello F.B.I. agents who have now just shown up after I said Taliban, how are you today? You must be doing well.) The faction leader Ibhrim told me to go on the forums and apply to this faction, now I've never used their forums till then mostly because it was kind of a shitty forum. There I was typing away into the forums and making a Taliban application (Listen F.B.I. I understand that I said it again, I hope the kids at home are okay.) it was the weirdest thing to do yet it felt fun.
This is not my application, this is just an example of how it was like.
I waited for a few days and getting accepted was just a comfortable feeling. Getting to play a diverse amount of factions I later went on to play on the SFOA, Special Forces of Australia, IPS, Irish Private Security, and just many others. There was crazy shit like the Zhou Dynasty Army, MI6, Green Beret, Navy Seals, USMC, and it was just so fun to play in these many factions even if you had to donate for some of them. The amount of fun I had in this server was crazy, I even applied for staff, and got accepted. I made a great event (believe it or not but MilitaryRP events are much easier to make than SCP events that's why most of my events even if they were about a monster were more military orientated), I made amazing friends along the way, and amazing amount of content to share and love with everyone then one day I don't remember but I know I was an asshole to someone. Hurting someone does a lot to me, especially when it isn't deserved so I decided t to leave, welcome to the beginning of my many resignations despite it hurting.
It's crazy @KingHarsh because now I'm missing you more than ever, I'm missing all of them, you know that community is what made this community. It's crazy to know that not one of those people who I mentioned in that thread is here anymore, none of them, not a single of them. You know @Preston it was crazy seeing you around sometimes. "Just one last thing...if you think OH NO NOW THIS COMMUNITY IS FALLING APART FASTER, no...I believe this community will get better in fact it will be the greatest accomplishment to the community owners I know this is true because I know they won't give up just yet." I didn't look back on these emails and I'm thankful I clicked on that send replies to emails button because this really actually brings back a lot of memories, it's honestly as much as I say it, it's crazy really it is. I wanted to mention them all again, but you can't mention inactive members-... it goes to show a lot.
Then I pulled a Kai, and came right the fuck back then left again, then came back-... and left again. Things don't change, they never change, and I don't know if I can change that.
But that was it, when you keep on coming back to something it's because you love it, it's because you're addicted in ways that are questionably healthy, sometimes it was an escape route, at the time I was single so having a girlfriend or a boyfriend to calm you down didn't exist. I was once told by a friend if I ever felt the same way they did about being trapped into an emotional state, and needing a stress relief I don't remember what I told her, but I know I did tell her something in the lines of that thing will get better, and thankfully you got better @Lunarisᚱift. I don't think I did during the time, it was just getting worse I don't like to talk to about personal life unless it's a goodbye before goodbyes I hide it, and just want to have fun on the server, rarely did I ever get a how are you? On anything to be honest, even now I barely do but I'm okay now back then-... I was just a mess, that may not excuse the number of resignations I had then even now. I found myself looking back, even now thinking how could've I changed it, and keep the things I loved.
Was I a liked person back then? Yes, and no I said I was a mess at some points I was just the funniest you could be with:
But then there were those times where my head went too far, I take it all back, I know they aren't here I just need them to know even if it's just the internet, I need them to know, things I never should've said:
I want them all back, I wish they all could've seen what better of a person I am now. If I had messaged them now they probably would've forgotten me, hell, I may have forgotten some of them as well, some of the greatest people I knew.
[Nomad Networks]
Then the day came, oh boy Murlock go fuck yourself, Nomad Networks suddenly happened. Let me explain Nomad Networks, one community merged with Darth Gaming with I think another, together merged into one community, and we were all called Nomad Networks. At this point, I am now largely involved with the community and the start of my critical nature of the server's health would begin. I didn't know who Murlock was, I wish I did so I would've never ever fucking supported it, and for the many people who do know Murlock now would understand it as well. MilitaryRP at the time wasn't doing as great as it once did, and I blame the merge for that every time I think of it. Great people were leaving, and new people were entering.
Everything here though becomes vague because I unfortunately, deleted all of my emails for Nomad except for a few.
So I'm going to try to jog my memory as much as I can. This community was desperately jabbing at different ideas, there was a fucking HarambeRP, a fucking Anglo Zulu War RP, and Vietnam was being left for dead as well. I feel bad for Vietnam even if I never played on it, but they deserved better than what happened in Nomad Networks, and for MilitaryRP the one person I can say killed the server once and for all goes by a user named Jatin.
[Jatin]
I'm leaving a whole chapter for Jatin because I want to make an example out of him of what could happen if we let these types of people in. This was a kid, with his parent's credit card, a rich kid at it too spending on masses amounts of shit on the server and even paid full front for General of the U.S. Army, let me make a great example to relate, just imagine the highest rank in Halo, being bought out instead of being worked for or even applied. This is the type of person we are talking about, Jatin didn't know the slightest clue at what he was doing. The Green Beret one of the biggest divisions of the U.S. Army, was disrespected by the U.S General, and once the Green Beret pissed him off, Jatin declares war on the fucking Green Beret.
So the U.S. Army is now at war with its own army, this is when the decline happens dramatically as the Green Beret defects and makes its own faction. The entire U.S. Army is trying to make peace with the rebellious faction while Jatin is shooting them up as a General.
While many players attempt to take Jatin out of power he is suddenly in a donator shield, I'm unaware of the community owners ever knew about this but I know once one of them took action that was deserved the worse happened.
So let me explain one of our weapon bases, M9K Specialties it has something called the Davey Crocket which could potentially crash the server.
So once Jatin was told that he was getting removed from his position, and potentially getting banned which took weeks by the way. He then spawned hostile NPCs in one room all holding Davey Crockets. Load and behold, the entire server crashed that was finally at its the peak point of the server. After this Jatin was removed, banned, and gone. Rejoice, and the server was saved. Not quite, the server got to a low point now due to how long the process was, the negative tension within the server, and I think soon after is when the great split happened.
[Nomad's Split Into Revival]
I can most certainly say it came out of fucking nowhere, one moment the forums are calm, and the next moment everything starts getting split apart, and Vietnam is taken away from the community. When I learned about the split, I was directly in the middle not really understanding what was going on, all I knew is that this was the apparent end of MilitaryRP which I stood and not defended Nomad Networks or the new community, I defended the players of MilitaryRP who wanted to stay and repopulate the server so I went on Kik, and somehow managed to pull William, KingHarsh Jesture, and I don't even remember who the other community owner was at the time but I pulled him in to a group chat trying to work things out which in my heart I wanted to believe that it works in my head I just knew that this split was going to happen, but I wanted to understand why, I think at that time I figured out why but today I forgot why we split unfortunately but I knew it was for a good reason something that made me want to stay away from Nomad but the unfortunate transparency of the new community made me want to stay away from them too, if no one is being real then why belief in either? It basically killed MilitaryRP as a whole, I can say that I was saddened and I didn't really play on any other server after that. I didn't really get to explain how Military RP was.
[Remembering MilitaryRP]
On my first day playing I remember being trained by Gaz, and I remember standing at the ridge of cs_desert minding my own business and watched a Taliban go up to the group next to me selling goat milk, and as soon as he dropped the goat milk, he suicides bombed the group. Amazed.
And on my last day of playing, I remembered being with the MSF as we stand in a circle, watching Jatin's character's body burn in a fire. I'm just going to show many screenshots of this amazing roleplay server that I wish maybe @William could just bring back and revive. I would live for the day for that server to come back, I know it's just nostalgia, but that nostalgia runs high.
U.S. Army Formation https://steamuserimages-a.akamaihd....644/9D7A8224BAFBEB384E21540E50F4550F8815080F/
Taliban setting up a car full of IEDs in front of US Base. https://steamuserimages-a.akamaihd....105/E749EC891DE00A91AC3692B0DD5A88AD800BB51A/
Abomination #1 https://steamuserimages-a.akamaihd....376/5A2070B4CFD93848460E6BDDCDA312FC7E2EC79B/
Negotiation with the Germans and Blackwater https://steamuserimages-a.akamaihd....768/DE3D4564C5240291C4B5535BBE436F684FBAB576/
A proud community. https://steamuserimages-a.akamaihd....394/BE385E8F663D9A82D9B2330F16E546CC200C8B5F/
A family. https://steamuserimages-a.akamaihd....678/61E950F6ECA798EF6EC2230624C9C6BF8485D4F8/
This server was awesome. https://steamuserimages-a.akamaihd....243/D54B975CE27174FE7970C4B3D31D7EFBE95C3876/
And it still is. https://steamuserimages-a.akamaihd....692/DFF0D2831F6DD29DF61DDEDD68EF4A8445F4A955/
It always will be. https://steamuserimages-a.akamaihd....108/16A306FA666A4921BAFC88EA75C868E96B5D0959/
The funniest. https://steamuserimages-a.akamaihd....497/9A206A50B4220A7D767AD44FEAA12273532353CF/
And I will miss it. https://steamuserimages-a.akamaihd....120/A09B8611B6E4FF6175E0CF7331D0B5C316882287/
Always will miss it. https://steamuserimages-a.akamaihd....271/42B85EE952A26559BB81BB77B7EA76741A1ACCD9/
Always will I. https://steamuserimages-a.akamaihd....040/ED1138170C0401B77F1D0E54CC8EDE1C8872B477/
Rest in Peace, MilitaryRP.
[The Beginning of My Time On Revival]
I created an account on Revival, February 11th, 2017, I made my first thread on February 19th, 2017. I was still a part of Nomad Networks until March 11th, 2017 literally a month after creating my account I was banned from Nomad Networks for really no apparent reason, so I went back on Revival in spite with my commitment made.
I made so many fucking posts throughout the time I started joining, there were many new people and a few old people that I knew I joined a ZMRP which was an adaptation of the MilitaryRP which it felt nothing like the original, it wasn't doing well at all only like 20 players on the server daily compared to the massive success Halo was at the time, SCP was only a concept at the time, imagine that.
Of course, nothing would ever feel like the original. I was a part of this community for a big long ass while and playing the hell out of this server, then out of the blue Colt Miller pulled me into a channel and made me Community Ambassador which I can confirm to you was the most useless rank ever made in this community, y'all though Human Resources was bad. Imagine sitting in a different community's TeamSpeak that is dead and doing nothing, I quickly lose this job because there was no point to it. After playing for a while I had to take a break, and quit the ZMRP and went back on another Kai Resignation Vacation. The ZMRP died later on during my vacation, not surprised but it became something better.
[Mass Effect Roleplay/Star Wars Roleplay, Executive Liasion and Forums Staff]
Mass Effect was such an experience for me it was a nutscript server for one which is a great type of server instead of DarkRP, in a good way and a horrible way, there are many things I wish could've happened differently but this is the server that brought me to my full potential minus all the OwO ERP OwO, I was able to express my character individualities to the server, and I made the longest backstory on Revival Servers on here in the Old Forums Section. https://revivalservers.com/index.php?threads/kais-human-application-cullen-ivring.6832/ I was able to do all of this and have fun, I soon became forums head admin during this time helping out with that with an amazing team of people, Mass Effect was a success in the quality of RP. During this time SCP was starting into V2, and then in the middle of the timeline of Mass Effect I was recommended to being an EL, which I can't say was a regret of mine I was able to make some progress while making some horrible mistakes, and for better or worse I continued growing the Mass Effect dream, we've hit the cap a few times but the potential was being decreased by constant change of managers which relates to SCPRP V7-V9. Overall the server ended, and turned into Star Wars roleplay which in place was a failure due to what I can say was a manager who was being badly influenced by people around him he called friends, the spread of false nazism, the jokes of anti-feminism that I had to endure, I tried stopping him, he was a great friend of mine, and soon with the help of someone else we had to take the whole group out. The topic of Star Wars Roleplay is actually a way to sensitive to talk about on forums, all you need to know is, it only died because of what I call manipulation.
[E.L. in SCP, regrets, and rejoyce]
This will be short and simple, I tried making a more fun experience in the server, and a fair experience in the staff team. Balancing both was impossible but I still tried anyway which led to many mistakes such as abuse of power. Which I did too many times to be allowed, for one I teleported an entire GenSec army to fight off a CI raid both sides had fun and all but it was wrong. I did many horror events to scare the GenSec which while some had fun many hated it, and I should've listened. I almost nuked the server once thank god Themormatic bombs don't have a large blast range, so the foundation was safe, and so was the server. These were all of many mistakes I made as an E.L. but the things I don't regret were removing Marks from his position and replacing him with Bucky, right after that happened we were hitting the max amount of players because Marks and Thorn left as soon as I fired him. I don't feel bad about removing him, he was an example of manipulation and he had to be removed. I guided Bucky as a manager to make the rulebook fair and understandable. I helped him let go of Security, and hand it off to someone better. I never saw a better Security afterward. I encouraged CI raids more often with the help of the staff team, thank you for that than I should have but it made people want to be CI but I've noticed that all of these good things go unnoticed, not the fact that no one knows about it but people think it was just me who did it. All of my good decisions as E.L. didn't just come from me, it came from a graceful, and amazing staff team who had fair ideas for the server, and their ideas I only made a reality which made the server a better place. All of the decisions I made by myself, ended up being mistakes, and horrible things to which I know to myself that I can't take on that weight by myself I need a group of people who care enough to take the server together, that's how a server should be run by a staff team that doesn't hate each other they care for one and another and they care for the server to spread their ideas, thank you for being a part of this community. In the end, one of my horror events became way too far, and I was removed from my position, did I deserve it? Yes. Did I move on? Yes.
[TRT]
I've made many statements of how I loved TRT as a faction in SCP, but I loved the first TRT squad I managed. When I was given TRT Supervisor by Bucky, I expected to leave the position immediately but people like @Lunarisᚱift, @Cadet, Davis, Matthew, @DaBeast, @NInjamonkey3904, and @Ali convinced me to stay. Once again like the staff team, it's all about a bunch of people who support each other and you, a bunch of people who just want to have fun and not bullshit, I later on forgot that message mostly because those amazing people weren't with me in V8, or V7, or V6, which I'm fine with if they moved on, then they moved on but I should've never forgotten what mattered most about being a leader, having friends who will back you up when you feel small, and I thank you for that, and I'm sorry for abandoning the rest of you.
And for the last TRT @AlexPlayz as Supervisor, I don't know why I found myself in a place where I can suddenly nitpick your TRT while I was gone, I'm a fucking dumbass for that you should know that by now, I abandoned you like an asshole, and I deserve the hate that I got for that. I want to make it different, believe me, I do, I can't say you were bad at your job if I never got to witness it, and I was blind. You were a damn good one.
[Old SCPRP]
I wish it back, I missed the security lining up on the wall waiting for a meeting with DoFS Bucky ready to remind them about the SCP Book, ready to give out promotions and afterward assigning them posts. I miss the CI raids that made their way into LCZ, as GenSec fought hard they would fail. I miss the power researchers who despite having ridiculous powers were only there to encourage roleplay, add drama to the roleplay, and make the SCP community feel more like SCP. I miss the TRT that would line up in a formation, remember if you there, Foxtrot in one line, Bravo in the next, Charlie in the next, and Oblivion or Infinis or anything in the next, then we would all laugh as someone brought up a meme. I miss the MTF that would bring fear to the foundation each time they had a tryout, and not make it seem like every other faction. I miss when medical would cutely rebel against MTF knowing they weren't able to fight them but making it seem like they had the fight to go after, and I miss every SCP breach where General Security teamed up together to make a firing line against the SCPs. I miss when William came on with a M60 in D-Block and made a brother gang to rise up against security. Hell, I even miss Skip's dumbass SCP-008 events that would Code Black the server. I miss it all, and now it's all just memories. I was a Site Director two times, a DoFS one time, a TRT Supervisor 4 times, and an MTF once but none of it matters because the amount of jobs I've taken does not compare to the memories of just being a friend to others. I would talk about my entire history on SCP but I would rather get to why this thread is really being made. So instead I will show you memories of my appreciation.
[Final Days On SCPRP]
There is a lot of pieces missing mostly because they are unimportant, but things like getting removed from admin for spawning a weapon that I shouldn't have are things I've skipped but I'd rather get to the important part. My final days on SCPRP, were my most confusing days, on one end things were happening very quickly in life, it is true, I did get engaged but that excitement made me forget about everything which it should. So I abandoned ship as Head Gamemaker, and I thought maybe take a break as TRT Supervisor then come back and help out I got removed during the time I should've expected it which I mean I did, but from looking from other gamemakers at the time while I did drop hints that I was on my way out, I never said it directly to them when I should've I failed at that, and someone had to take my place, I'm glad Huxley did and no one else, he tried his best which I did too, and you did a good job Huxley. I never told Whiplash because he had already known I was leaving before then he should've known nothing I will stop before that but a second telling would've worked I know. Before I got this news of being engaged I wanted to leave, as I said, I was on my way out the truth is I was given this position I never applied for HGM, and you wonder why Whiplash is gone now. I told him this was only going to be temporary and he knew it, but then it became a commitment, I made a lot of events, many were misses, some were hits, but creativity started to run dry, my gamemaker team were drained of me constantly bugging them to do events and I'm sorry for that, I was balancing TRT and HGM which I shouldn't have done, everything I did wrong correlates back to EL except difference is, I did nothing well and only kept on making dumb mistakes, would I say it's because I was getting too old into the community? No that wouldn't be a reason because William or LunarisRift wouldn't be here if it's the reason of "getting too old for what you do", would I say it was laziness? No, because I kept on trying as hard as I could to get ahead of myself to do things. What would I say it was? My fault, there is nothing else to it. Those actions of abandoning the team, taking a break from TRT, and making it seem like I was only doing it because I hated everything which wasn't the case, I wanted SCP to succeed and keep going. Everything I did was perceived wrong but yet I still did it wrong. What do I mean by that? When I said I abandoned ship, it was because of getting engaged, it was because life was coming quickly but the common misconception of the time was that they think I left because everyone else was leaving, which I can't blame them, Barbed resign the same time as I did, did I intend for that? No. I wasn't leaving because of SCP, at the time that I left SCP was still doing well despite the drama, it may have not been hitting max but most of my time on SCP it wasn't always on max every day is why I say certain versions it would, is it anyone's fault? Well yeah, I'm sure it is, but we can focus on fixing the issues which @Gunter and his team are working on the issues they are finding and receiving from the player base and they are fixing them well. I personally fucked by not giving any notices of my leave, and that's where I went wrong I wanted to explain that to @William which I could understand that he was mad at me in the discord, which he should be, and I said many things to him that turned out to be untrue anyway because again I fucked up, I was a dumbass. I found myself bragging about resigning, at first I didn't notice I was then I read it again-... why the fuck did I brag about it I don't know, I can't even remember what was there to brag about. I'm pretty sure he was mad at me all along, all of my rants came from a bad place and I called the server cancer despite still playing it because it wasn't really cancer, it came from bad experiences that happened only once, I should've learned to stay with the people that I liked during that time many would tell you I had no one but myself playing on the server, I didn't have people like @Lunarisᚱift beside me, I didn't have people like @Cadet and I didn't have anyone else. Then there was the weird people like Coyote, and Whip which I should've told them to act differently because that would've brought them to a better place, maybe had I stayed I could've gotten Whiplash out of Director and stay as a smaller staff member instead, I knew he wasn't doing all that well as Director, nor Dayz nor anyone. I knew they would make my exact mistakes in front of the wrong person, the same mistakes I made as E.L. and I only came to this realization now as I want to talk about something else. Once I last left Revival, I didn't come back but let's talk about that after the next thing. All I can say is, that I'm sorry that I screwed over the gamemaker team, and I'm sorry to TRT for rushing you for nothing, and I should apologize to William because now when I read over this entire section I start to realize I may have unintentionally had a helping hand in the decline of SCPRP, and I'm very sorry for that while I want this blacklist tag away, I don't ever want to staff without trusting myself that I can do it but even then why should I? I'm going to fuck up again, on to the last few topics.
[New Community]
(Disclaimer: You probably know which one I'm talking about, but I can assure you that it already fell apart.)
After several people got community banned, they all made a community which I can talk about this subject because of how sensitive to this community alone, please read the disclaimer. I'm not advertising for this community, in fact, it's quite the opposite. When I learned about a few of my friends being community banned, I wondered why, and they told me blandly what they had done. If you were smart you would've questioned it. I wasn't smart, I didn't question it. I learned that they had a community, and I joined it I felt this safe house away from Revival, I had confidence in it yet I found myself going back to Revival. I wanted myself to stop, so I even fucking hate speech it, I mean look at this shit.
I think I was just trying to find an escape route because I had believed their reasons of why they were making it. They made a MilitaryRP, and an SCPRP. I immediately had problems with both of them, I spoke about the MilitaryRP ones, and because it wasn't acted on quickly that server died immediately I wasn't surprised slowly my faith was going down. Then they didn't know how to work a forum, and that failed, my confidence went down even quicker. Then when I looked at the SCPRP, let me tell you how I knew it was screwed from the beginning I kept silent about it no I don't think I did I was very public about it. The same person who damaged the Revival SCPRP was running this SCPRP, my confidence was dropping to a low point. I was offered positions, one of them once again I was forced into and the other I felt like I had to rather than I wanted to. I only had faith in this community because I trusted the community owner, and soon that didn't work out. The server was doing okay, but the owner left for Minecraft, like seriously. Once I saw that person who damaged the SCPRP, became the leader of the community. That's when the "If you were smart you would've questioned it." came right back to play. I had stopped playing on the server long before, and I started looking into the case of @Verax you know they were yelling saying how "Oh he banned us unfairly" or "Oh he banned us for no reason". That's when I started to realize that these banned people have done stupid shit in the past before and had they been caught they would've been banned for it by William, it was just only a matter of time for them to be banned, and when I was shown a few logs of Verax's conversation with them, I barely saw anything unfair about it yet it was still weird but it was smart at the same time. One of these people who were banned was manipulated by his friends to join them, while the few others who got banned off the situation never explained why they did. "Oh, it was nothing." It can't be nothing, I know William too well for that. There is always a reason for these community bans, and yes I finally believed that it was just a lie. You can't just believe what other people say about people like Verax, you have to see it through yourself. That's when I told one of the people a part of the community I was completely leaving, I was leaving because I was lied to completely, I was leaving because the same people that were there to support me were in Revival for a reason and the people who didn't were back in that community. When the new community died, and it was under that one person's rule I was over. I won't mention community names, I know better than that, I won't mention who leads it now, I know better than that, and trust me if you did know would understand why you should laugh. That new community was a lie, and people were just being manipulated. There are reasons why people get banned, and you should respect them because I don't think William would ban people for no reason, even if he didn't ban them he still clearly sees the bans that happen. Once again I fucked up, so I left them completely. After making this post, I am now probably going to get sent hate messages by them which I mean I can't careless, afterward I found myself going back to Revival. You have to learn things to get by, and I learned a lot just from that one incident. If I could explain that experience in any way, just take the Nomad split to Revival and split it into reverse, that's exactly how I would explain it, it's a betrayal that came from the new, and the old was right. I'm sorry for supporting them before but now I don't, fuck that commitment to them, and fuck them for lying to me, not all of the people there just the people who manipulated that crowd, and if they are reading this, you should come back immediately.
[Finale]
We are all caught up, this SCPRP is being redone, and I'm fully ready to support it. I'm glad to see HaloRP doing extremely well. @Verax I never got to welcome you to the community but welcome. I don't know any of the new Upper Management but I welcome you to Revival, and @William I understand that this isn't new for you to see me coming back, in fact, you're probably sick of me coming back but I respect your decisions, and I'm sorry for what I said in the discord and I know sorry won't do shit but it's enough that I can do. I would love for this blacklist tags to go away but I know they're going to stay it's part of the reason I don't expect anyone to see this post, for anyone to know what it's been like, I haven't talked about my life but I just want to talk about Revival, because during my time away even when I unbookmarked Revival Servers forums anytime I got on my phone I typed it in to see what was going on, I understand my password and email was changed once which I mean after the new community I can understand if it was intentional or XenForo being stupid, I don't care but I was dedicated enough to get my account back. I feel like that's what it is, ever since MilitaryRP I've just been dedicated. I never got to appreciate William's work because all he saw was me calling it cancer while I still played on the "cancer" because inside I knew it wasn't or else I wouldn't play, and this post wouldn't have been placed. I know you won't reply to this post because of my blacklisted tags I understand, why make yourself look bad by replying to a blacklisted guy? Don't do that, but for just this once I want to hear your opinions, even if it's negative, a welcome back, or maybe just something else. I came back because I wanted to let Revival know that I didn't forget how great it was despite my horrible experiences because they were just me, and not anyone else. It's great because how else wouldn't it be, it has 90/90 on Halo. Revival practically owns HaloRP, and could easily own SCPRP, remember when were #1? Let's get back to it, I believe that new developers @Gunter and his team can do it as long as the community supports, I want the community and people who said they left or new people to see this post and realize this is bigger than what it seems, that while they can choose not to support Revival, I recommend they should. There are good people here, in fact, everyone here is good we just fuck up a lot, but that's okay, we were made to fuck things up, and learn from them, understand that. Now if I told to go away or leave, that's fine it wouldn't change my opinion that this place is good because while you tell me to leave I will find myself again coming back. You can tell me to stay, and which I will tell you I've always been here, I've always been supporting despite my negativity I thought I was doing it for the better of the server those were my intentions yet I fucked up, and I try to spread positivity and I will be ignored by many but that's fine, I'm okay with that. As long as I can see Revival grow, I'm fine with that. Thank you for so many opportunities that I truly did not deserve, and I'm sorry for fucking with things that I shouldn't have.
On a happy note, let's do some mentions.
@Lunarisᚱift Thank you for taking care of forums staff while I was gone, and I want you to continue. You are truly just an amazing person, and while you told me things that were fucked up about your life I knew you would get through it. You may be facing problems now hell I don't know but if you were able to get through what you've been through you can get through anything. I know you may have forgotten me or stopped caring about me when I left, maybe you didn't, but I can't ignore the amount of effort you've placed just to make a better community without even anyone telling you that you needed to. You are the best snowflake I knew, and I know. You don't have to reply to this thread, reading it was just fine enough.
@Major_Blackfyre I wanted to talk about you during the entire thread I was typing but I couldn't bear to just leave in mentions. Back in that new community that died, you were just basically trashed on the entire time, and for some dumbass reason I joined in. Then I look back and the only stupid thing I knew about you was your decisions when you were first O5 but that was so long ago and you changed throughout then. I couldn't really point out other than whiteknight but we love a good whiteknight, and a good ERPer. You are a good guy at heart, I know you are, and you deserve better than to be looked at as a villain and I wouldn't take it with pride, I rather you take who you are as pride than being hated on because while it seems like everyone there may hate you, I'm sure there is a lot of people here who support you and having gone through that community, I know that I support you.
@KingHarshYou are an amazing stripper but when I looked through the entire history of DarthGaming I saw your amazing funny ass posts. I sometimes wish William convinced you to stay around because you would've been there to stop many people's bullshit including mine and while you may have not intended to, you've supported me before you left, and I thank you for that.
@GhazghkullThraka @Rapteh @Malice @SPR12314 @Meridian @Jai @Planet Alright gather around best forums staffle team ever, were missing a lot of people but I remember each of the times all of you joined the forums staff team, even before most of you left. I remember the stupid funny memes we had in the Kik chat, and the memes that continued in the meetings, and in the discord. While the Forums Team isn't the same, I feel like the same group of people are just as great as they were then, and if not even better. Especially you SPR, who had to put up with a lot of my bullshit, and you somehow did.
@Cadet I'm leaving you out the group because I want to talk to you individually, you are the best Scottish kid I know. I'm glad you were able to move away from the bullshit circle that was happening. I heard you're doing better. I heard you're doing great things, and being as funny as you were back then. You're special because I remember you starting in TRT being so little, and while it's cringy I know but literally @Lunarisᚱift and I watched you grow metaphorically, and I couldn't have been more proud. Thank you for putting up with my bullshit.
@Enderspine @Jay @NickF @Tood You four are very new here, and I'm so glad you could be working for this community. I can say that you all deserved it because I know William knows best after having to put up, and learn from the last directors he had. I hope you all succeed, and if you fuck up, that's okay we all do, I mean what you just read shows it. Welcome to Revival Servers.
@William I've already said what many things that I wanted to but I to keep this mention short, I've already apologized but that's not what matters, I want you to keep the servers as you say "popping" and keep growing. Just basically dominate the competition, Concordia? We don't know her. Any other community? We don't know them lmao, keep going on.
@Verax As one misperceived to another, I don't know you, I don't know the full story of the drama, and I certainly I'm no longer going to pick sides but I do know if you're still around, and if William still has you here to this day. That he means business, and I know that you won't let him down but not just him the community down, you're going to do great things and as I said to the new people, if you fuck up, that's okay, we all do.
@Buggles Baka I know you hate long paragraphs so I'm just gonna say "yee to the haw", and that I love you but you're gonna probably reply with "gay" lmao
If you made it this far, you've read everything, and I thank you for that, seriously thank you for that, I hope you understand and perceive it all you want as long as I got to say what I want, as I got to praise Revival for what it deserves that is fine, I will be okay.
Before we get serious wanna go off-topic, go check out this fucking amazing NF album, I'm like in love with it: https://nf.lnk.to/thesearchYD
Back on topic, I want you to know me, and understand me.
[Oblivon/Darth]
On September of 2015, I was 16, I joined a somewhat small community called Oblivion which lasted to about 2016 I say this because Nomad starts at 2017, and in this small community I had zero connections at this time, and I didn't even do much in the servers except for Military Roleplay. What I think was the most successful server during the time, this was right before it switched to Darth Gaming, P.S. I'm very much allowed to say these community names because if you are unaware these communities are now dead. Once I joined the server I created a character in this Military RP that would become a staple to me, I've played on a few serious roleplay servers before then I was dedicated to TTT servers nonetheless. This character was named "Kai McCarthy" what a ringer, I was just a private in the U.S. Army and in the first two days I was promoted all the way up to corporal for I don't even fucking remember all I did was kill shit, and I got slapped with new ranks. It came to a point where a female named Captain Black had to demote me down to Specialist not because I didn't deserve it because there was a promotion cooldown for a week that I skipped too many times by then on my third day. There was no reason why I stayed other than that, something hooked me on there. From then on out, I started to make my way up the charts as a member of the community without even touching the forums yet.
There was this faction that came up called the Taliban, and it piqued my interest (P.S. Hello F.B.I. agents who have now just shown up after I said Taliban, how are you today? You must be doing well.) The faction leader Ibhrim told me to go on the forums and apply to this faction, now I've never used their forums till then mostly because it was kind of a shitty forum. There I was typing away into the forums and making a Taliban application (Listen F.B.I. I understand that I said it again, I hope the kids at home are okay.) it was the weirdest thing to do yet it felt fun.
This is not my application, this is just an example of how it was like.
I waited for a few days and getting accepted was just a comfortable feeling. Getting to play a diverse amount of factions I later went on to play on the SFOA, Special Forces of Australia, IPS, Irish Private Security, and just many others. There was crazy shit like the Zhou Dynasty Army, MI6, Green Beret, Navy Seals, USMC, and it was just so fun to play in these many factions even if you had to donate for some of them. The amount of fun I had in this server was crazy, I even applied for staff, and got accepted. I made a great event (believe it or not but MilitaryRP events are much easier to make than SCP events that's why most of my events even if they were about a monster were more military orientated), I made amazing friends along the way, and amazing amount of content to share and love with everyone then one day I don't remember but I know I was an asshole to someone. Hurting someone does a lot to me, especially when it isn't deserved so I decided t to leave, welcome to the beginning of my many resignations despite it hurting.
It's crazy @KingHarsh because now I'm missing you more than ever, I'm missing all of them, you know that community is what made this community. It's crazy to know that not one of those people who I mentioned in that thread is here anymore, none of them, not a single of them. You know @Preston it was crazy seeing you around sometimes. "Just one last thing...if you think OH NO NOW THIS COMMUNITY IS FALLING APART FASTER, no...I believe this community will get better in fact it will be the greatest accomplishment to the community owners I know this is true because I know they won't give up just yet." I didn't look back on these emails and I'm thankful I clicked on that send replies to emails button because this really actually brings back a lot of memories, it's honestly as much as I say it, it's crazy really it is. I wanted to mention them all again, but you can't mention inactive members-... it goes to show a lot.
Then I pulled a Kai, and came right the fuck back then left again, then came back-... and left again. Things don't change, they never change, and I don't know if I can change that.
But that was it, when you keep on coming back to something it's because you love it, it's because you're addicted in ways that are questionably healthy, sometimes it was an escape route, at the time I was single so having a girlfriend or a boyfriend to calm you down didn't exist. I was once told by a friend if I ever felt the same way they did about being trapped into an emotional state, and needing a stress relief I don't remember what I told her, but I know I did tell her something in the lines of that thing will get better, and thankfully you got better @Lunarisᚱift. I don't think I did during the time, it was just getting worse I don't like to talk to about personal life unless it's a goodbye before goodbyes I hide it, and just want to have fun on the server, rarely did I ever get a how are you? On anything to be honest, even now I barely do but I'm okay now back then-... I was just a mess, that may not excuse the number of resignations I had then even now. I found myself looking back, even now thinking how could've I changed it, and keep the things I loved.
Was I a liked person back then? Yes, and no I said I was a mess at some points I was just the funniest you could be with:
But then there were those times where my head went too far, I take it all back, I know they aren't here I just need them to know even if it's just the internet, I need them to know, things I never should've said:
I want them all back, I wish they all could've seen what better of a person I am now. If I had messaged them now they probably would've forgotten me, hell, I may have forgotten some of them as well, some of the greatest people I knew.
[Nomad Networks]
Then the day came, oh boy Murlock go fuck yourself, Nomad Networks suddenly happened. Let me explain Nomad Networks, one community merged with Darth Gaming with I think another, together merged into one community, and we were all called Nomad Networks. At this point, I am now largely involved with the community and the start of my critical nature of the server's health would begin. I didn't know who Murlock was, I wish I did so I would've never ever fucking supported it, and for the many people who do know Murlock now would understand it as well. MilitaryRP at the time wasn't doing as great as it once did, and I blame the merge for that every time I think of it. Great people were leaving, and new people were entering.
Everything here though becomes vague because I unfortunately, deleted all of my emails for Nomad except for a few.
So I'm going to try to jog my memory as much as I can. This community was desperately jabbing at different ideas, there was a fucking HarambeRP, a fucking Anglo Zulu War RP, and Vietnam was being left for dead as well. I feel bad for Vietnam even if I never played on it, but they deserved better than what happened in Nomad Networks, and for MilitaryRP the one person I can say killed the server once and for all goes by a user named Jatin.
[Jatin]
I'm leaving a whole chapter for Jatin because I want to make an example out of him of what could happen if we let these types of people in. This was a kid, with his parent's credit card, a rich kid at it too spending on masses amounts of shit on the server and even paid full front for General of the U.S. Army, let me make a great example to relate, just imagine the highest rank in Halo, being bought out instead of being worked for or even applied. This is the type of person we are talking about, Jatin didn't know the slightest clue at what he was doing. The Green Beret one of the biggest divisions of the U.S. Army, was disrespected by the U.S General, and once the Green Beret pissed him off, Jatin declares war on the fucking Green Beret.
So the U.S. Army is now at war with its own army, this is when the decline happens dramatically as the Green Beret defects and makes its own faction. The entire U.S. Army is trying to make peace with the rebellious faction while Jatin is shooting them up as a General.
While many players attempt to take Jatin out of power he is suddenly in a donator shield, I'm unaware of the community owners ever knew about this but I know once one of them took action that was deserved the worse happened.
So let me explain one of our weapon bases, M9K Specialties it has something called the Davey Crocket which could potentially crash the server.
So once Jatin was told that he was getting removed from his position, and potentially getting banned which took weeks by the way. He then spawned hostile NPCs in one room all holding Davey Crockets. Load and behold, the entire server crashed that was finally at its the peak point of the server. After this Jatin was removed, banned, and gone. Rejoice, and the server was saved. Not quite, the server got to a low point now due to how long the process was, the negative tension within the server, and I think soon after is when the great split happened.
[Nomad's Split Into Revival]
I can most certainly say it came out of fucking nowhere, one moment the forums are calm, and the next moment everything starts getting split apart, and Vietnam is taken away from the community. When I learned about the split, I was directly in the middle not really understanding what was going on, all I knew is that this was the apparent end of MilitaryRP which I stood and not defended Nomad Networks or the new community, I defended the players of MilitaryRP who wanted to stay and repopulate the server so I went on Kik, and somehow managed to pull William, KingHarsh Jesture, and I don't even remember who the other community owner was at the time but I pulled him in to a group chat trying to work things out which in my heart I wanted to believe that it works in my head I just knew that this split was going to happen, but I wanted to understand why, I think at that time I figured out why but today I forgot why we split unfortunately but I knew it was for a good reason something that made me want to stay away from Nomad but the unfortunate transparency of the new community made me want to stay away from them too, if no one is being real then why belief in either? It basically killed MilitaryRP as a whole, I can say that I was saddened and I didn't really play on any other server after that. I didn't really get to explain how Military RP was.
[Remembering MilitaryRP]
On my first day playing I remember being trained by Gaz, and I remember standing at the ridge of cs_desert minding my own business and watched a Taliban go up to the group next to me selling goat milk, and as soon as he dropped the goat milk, he suicides bombed the group. Amazed.
And on my last day of playing, I remembered being with the MSF as we stand in a circle, watching Jatin's character's body burn in a fire. I'm just going to show many screenshots of this amazing roleplay server that I wish maybe @William could just bring back and revive. I would live for the day for that server to come back, I know it's just nostalgia, but that nostalgia runs high.
U.S. Army Formation https://steamuserimages-a.akamaihd....644/9D7A8224BAFBEB384E21540E50F4550F8815080F/
Taliban setting up a car full of IEDs in front of US Base. https://steamuserimages-a.akamaihd....105/E749EC891DE00A91AC3692B0DD5A88AD800BB51A/
Abomination #1 https://steamuserimages-a.akamaihd....376/5A2070B4CFD93848460E6BDDCDA312FC7E2EC79B/
Negotiation with the Germans and Blackwater https://steamuserimages-a.akamaihd....768/DE3D4564C5240291C4B5535BBE436F684FBAB576/
A proud community. https://steamuserimages-a.akamaihd....394/BE385E8F663D9A82D9B2330F16E546CC200C8B5F/
A family. https://steamuserimages-a.akamaihd....678/61E950F6ECA798EF6EC2230624C9C6BF8485D4F8/
This server was awesome. https://steamuserimages-a.akamaihd....243/D54B975CE27174FE7970C4B3D31D7EFBE95C3876/
And it still is. https://steamuserimages-a.akamaihd....692/DFF0D2831F6DD29DF61DDEDD68EF4A8445F4A955/
It always will be. https://steamuserimages-a.akamaihd....108/16A306FA666A4921BAFC88EA75C868E96B5D0959/
The funniest. https://steamuserimages-a.akamaihd....497/9A206A50B4220A7D767AD44FEAA12273532353CF/
And I will miss it. https://steamuserimages-a.akamaihd....120/A09B8611B6E4FF6175E0CF7331D0B5C316882287/
Always will miss it. https://steamuserimages-a.akamaihd....271/42B85EE952A26559BB81BB77B7EA76741A1ACCD9/
Always will I. https://steamuserimages-a.akamaihd....040/ED1138170C0401B77F1D0E54CC8EDE1C8872B477/
Rest in Peace, MilitaryRP.
[The Beginning of My Time On Revival]
I created an account on Revival, February 11th, 2017, I made my first thread on February 19th, 2017. I was still a part of Nomad Networks until March 11th, 2017 literally a month after creating my account I was banned from Nomad Networks for really no apparent reason, so I went back on Revival in spite with my commitment made.
I made so many fucking posts throughout the time I started joining, there were many new people and a few old people that I knew I joined a ZMRP which was an adaptation of the MilitaryRP which it felt nothing like the original, it wasn't doing well at all only like 20 players on the server daily compared to the massive success Halo was at the time, SCP was only a concept at the time, imagine that.
Of course, nothing would ever feel like the original. I was a part of this community for a big long ass while and playing the hell out of this server, then out of the blue Colt Miller pulled me into a channel and made me Community Ambassador which I can confirm to you was the most useless rank ever made in this community, y'all though Human Resources was bad. Imagine sitting in a different community's TeamSpeak that is dead and doing nothing, I quickly lose this job because there was no point to it. After playing for a while I had to take a break, and quit the ZMRP and went back on another Kai Resignation Vacation. The ZMRP died later on during my vacation, not surprised but it became something better.
[Mass Effect Roleplay/Star Wars Roleplay, Executive Liasion and Forums Staff]
Mass Effect was such an experience for me it was a nutscript server for one which is a great type of server instead of DarkRP, in a good way and a horrible way, there are many things I wish could've happened differently but this is the server that brought me to my full potential minus all the OwO ERP OwO, I was able to express my character individualities to the server, and I made the longest backstory on Revival Servers on here in the Old Forums Section. https://revivalservers.com/index.php?threads/kais-human-application-cullen-ivring.6832/ I was able to do all of this and have fun, I soon became forums head admin during this time helping out with that with an amazing team of people, Mass Effect was a success in the quality of RP. During this time SCP was starting into V2, and then in the middle of the timeline of Mass Effect I was recommended to being an EL, which I can't say was a regret of mine I was able to make some progress while making some horrible mistakes, and for better or worse I continued growing the Mass Effect dream, we've hit the cap a few times but the potential was being decreased by constant change of managers which relates to SCPRP V7-V9. Overall the server ended, and turned into Star Wars roleplay which in place was a failure due to what I can say was a manager who was being badly influenced by people around him he called friends, the spread of false nazism, the jokes of anti-feminism that I had to endure, I tried stopping him, he was a great friend of mine, and soon with the help of someone else we had to take the whole group out. The topic of Star Wars Roleplay is actually a way to sensitive to talk about on forums, all you need to know is, it only died because of what I call manipulation.
[E.L. in SCP, regrets, and rejoyce]
This will be short and simple, I tried making a more fun experience in the server, and a fair experience in the staff team. Balancing both was impossible but I still tried anyway which led to many mistakes such as abuse of power. Which I did too many times to be allowed, for one I teleported an entire GenSec army to fight off a CI raid both sides had fun and all but it was wrong. I did many horror events to scare the GenSec which while some had fun many hated it, and I should've listened. I almost nuked the server once thank god Themormatic bombs don't have a large blast range, so the foundation was safe, and so was the server. These were all of many mistakes I made as an E.L. but the things I don't regret were removing Marks from his position and replacing him with Bucky, right after that happened we were hitting the max amount of players because Marks and Thorn left as soon as I fired him. I don't feel bad about removing him, he was an example of manipulation and he had to be removed. I guided Bucky as a manager to make the rulebook fair and understandable. I helped him let go of Security, and hand it off to someone better. I never saw a better Security afterward. I encouraged CI raids more often with the help of the staff team, thank you for that than I should have but it made people want to be CI but I've noticed that all of these good things go unnoticed, not the fact that no one knows about it but people think it was just me who did it. All of my good decisions as E.L. didn't just come from me, it came from a graceful, and amazing staff team who had fair ideas for the server, and their ideas I only made a reality which made the server a better place. All of the decisions I made by myself, ended up being mistakes, and horrible things to which I know to myself that I can't take on that weight by myself I need a group of people who care enough to take the server together, that's how a server should be run by a staff team that doesn't hate each other they care for one and another and they care for the server to spread their ideas, thank you for being a part of this community. In the end, one of my horror events became way too far, and I was removed from my position, did I deserve it? Yes. Did I move on? Yes.
[TRT]
I've made many statements of how I loved TRT as a faction in SCP, but I loved the first TRT squad I managed. When I was given TRT Supervisor by Bucky, I expected to leave the position immediately but people like @Lunarisᚱift, @Cadet, Davis, Matthew, @DaBeast, @NInjamonkey3904, and @Ali convinced me to stay. Once again like the staff team, it's all about a bunch of people who support each other and you, a bunch of people who just want to have fun and not bullshit, I later on forgot that message mostly because those amazing people weren't with me in V8, or V7, or V6, which I'm fine with if they moved on, then they moved on but I should've never forgotten what mattered most about being a leader, having friends who will back you up when you feel small, and I thank you for that, and I'm sorry for abandoning the rest of you.
And for the last TRT @AlexPlayz as Supervisor, I don't know why I found myself in a place where I can suddenly nitpick your TRT while I was gone, I'm a fucking dumbass for that you should know that by now, I abandoned you like an asshole, and I deserve the hate that I got for that. I want to make it different, believe me, I do, I can't say you were bad at your job if I never got to witness it, and I was blind. You were a damn good one.
[Old SCPRP]
I wish it back, I missed the security lining up on the wall waiting for a meeting with DoFS Bucky ready to remind them about the SCP Book, ready to give out promotions and afterward assigning them posts. I miss the CI raids that made their way into LCZ, as GenSec fought hard they would fail. I miss the power researchers who despite having ridiculous powers were only there to encourage roleplay, add drama to the roleplay, and make the SCP community feel more like SCP. I miss the TRT that would line up in a formation, remember if you there, Foxtrot in one line, Bravo in the next, Charlie in the next, and Oblivion or Infinis or anything in the next, then we would all laugh as someone brought up a meme. I miss the MTF that would bring fear to the foundation each time they had a tryout, and not make it seem like every other faction. I miss when medical would cutely rebel against MTF knowing they weren't able to fight them but making it seem like they had the fight to go after, and I miss every SCP breach where General Security teamed up together to make a firing line against the SCPs. I miss when William came on with a M60 in D-Block and made a brother gang to rise up against security. Hell, I even miss Skip's dumbass SCP-008 events that would Code Black the server. I miss it all, and now it's all just memories. I was a Site Director two times, a DoFS one time, a TRT Supervisor 4 times, and an MTF once but none of it matters because the amount of jobs I've taken does not compare to the memories of just being a friend to others. I would talk about my entire history on SCP but I would rather get to why this thread is really being made. So instead I will show you memories of my appreciation.
[Final Days On SCPRP]
There is a lot of pieces missing mostly because they are unimportant, but things like getting removed from admin for spawning a weapon that I shouldn't have are things I've skipped but I'd rather get to the important part. My final days on SCPRP, were my most confusing days, on one end things were happening very quickly in life, it is true, I did get engaged but that excitement made me forget about everything which it should. So I abandoned ship as Head Gamemaker, and I thought maybe take a break as TRT Supervisor then come back and help out I got removed during the time I should've expected it which I mean I did, but from looking from other gamemakers at the time while I did drop hints that I was on my way out, I never said it directly to them when I should've I failed at that, and someone had to take my place, I'm glad Huxley did and no one else, he tried his best which I did too, and you did a good job Huxley. I never told Whiplash because he had already known I was leaving before then he should've known nothing I will stop before that but a second telling would've worked I know. Before I got this news of being engaged I wanted to leave, as I said, I was on my way out the truth is I was given this position I never applied for HGM, and you wonder why Whiplash is gone now. I told him this was only going to be temporary and he knew it, but then it became a commitment, I made a lot of events, many were misses, some were hits, but creativity started to run dry, my gamemaker team were drained of me constantly bugging them to do events and I'm sorry for that, I was balancing TRT and HGM which I shouldn't have done, everything I did wrong correlates back to EL except difference is, I did nothing well and only kept on making dumb mistakes, would I say it's because I was getting too old into the community? No that wouldn't be a reason because William or LunarisRift wouldn't be here if it's the reason of "getting too old for what you do", would I say it was laziness? No, because I kept on trying as hard as I could to get ahead of myself to do things. What would I say it was? My fault, there is nothing else to it. Those actions of abandoning the team, taking a break from TRT, and making it seem like I was only doing it because I hated everything which wasn't the case, I wanted SCP to succeed and keep going. Everything I did was perceived wrong but yet I still did it wrong. What do I mean by that? When I said I abandoned ship, it was because of getting engaged, it was because life was coming quickly but the common misconception of the time was that they think I left because everyone else was leaving, which I can't blame them, Barbed resign the same time as I did, did I intend for that? No. I wasn't leaving because of SCP, at the time that I left SCP was still doing well despite the drama, it may have not been hitting max but most of my time on SCP it wasn't always on max every day is why I say certain versions it would, is it anyone's fault? Well yeah, I'm sure it is, but we can focus on fixing the issues which @Gunter and his team are working on the issues they are finding and receiving from the player base and they are fixing them well. I personally fucked by not giving any notices of my leave, and that's where I went wrong I wanted to explain that to @William which I could understand that he was mad at me in the discord, which he should be, and I said many things to him that turned out to be untrue anyway because again I fucked up, I was a dumbass. I found myself bragging about resigning, at first I didn't notice I was then I read it again-... why the fuck did I brag about it I don't know, I can't even remember what was there to brag about. I'm pretty sure he was mad at me all along, all of my rants came from a bad place and I called the server cancer despite still playing it because it wasn't really cancer, it came from bad experiences that happened only once, I should've learned to stay with the people that I liked during that time many would tell you I had no one but myself playing on the server, I didn't have people like @Lunarisᚱift beside me, I didn't have people like @Cadet and I didn't have anyone else. Then there was the weird people like Coyote, and Whip which I should've told them to act differently because that would've brought them to a better place, maybe had I stayed I could've gotten Whiplash out of Director and stay as a smaller staff member instead, I knew he wasn't doing all that well as Director, nor Dayz nor anyone. I knew they would make my exact mistakes in front of the wrong person, the same mistakes I made as E.L. and I only came to this realization now as I want to talk about something else. Once I last left Revival, I didn't come back but let's talk about that after the next thing. All I can say is, that I'm sorry that I screwed over the gamemaker team, and I'm sorry to TRT for rushing you for nothing, and I should apologize to William because now when I read over this entire section I start to realize I may have unintentionally had a helping hand in the decline of SCPRP, and I'm very sorry for that while I want this blacklist tag away, I don't ever want to staff without trusting myself that I can do it but even then why should I? I'm going to fuck up again, on to the last few topics.
[New Community]
(Disclaimer: You probably know which one I'm talking about, but I can assure you that it already fell apart.)
After several people got community banned, they all made a community which I can talk about this subject because of how sensitive to this community alone, please read the disclaimer. I'm not advertising for this community, in fact, it's quite the opposite. When I learned about a few of my friends being community banned, I wondered why, and they told me blandly what they had done. If you were smart you would've questioned it. I wasn't smart, I didn't question it. I learned that they had a community, and I joined it I felt this safe house away from Revival, I had confidence in it yet I found myself going back to Revival. I wanted myself to stop, so I even fucking hate speech it, I mean look at this shit.
I think I was just trying to find an escape route because I had believed their reasons of why they were making it. They made a MilitaryRP, and an SCPRP. I immediately had problems with both of them, I spoke about the MilitaryRP ones, and because it wasn't acted on quickly that server died immediately I wasn't surprised slowly my faith was going down. Then they didn't know how to work a forum, and that failed, my confidence went down even quicker. Then when I looked at the SCPRP, let me tell you how I knew it was screwed from the beginning I kept silent about it no I don't think I did I was very public about it. The same person who damaged the Revival SCPRP was running this SCPRP, my confidence was dropping to a low point. I was offered positions, one of them once again I was forced into and the other I felt like I had to rather than I wanted to. I only had faith in this community because I trusted the community owner, and soon that didn't work out. The server was doing okay, but the owner left for Minecraft, like seriously. Once I saw that person who damaged the SCPRP, became the leader of the community. That's when the "If you were smart you would've questioned it." came right back to play. I had stopped playing on the server long before, and I started looking into the case of @Verax you know they were yelling saying how "Oh he banned us unfairly" or "Oh he banned us for no reason". That's when I started to realize that these banned people have done stupid shit in the past before and had they been caught they would've been banned for it by William, it was just only a matter of time for them to be banned, and when I was shown a few logs of Verax's conversation with them, I barely saw anything unfair about it yet it was still weird but it was smart at the same time. One of these people who were banned was manipulated by his friends to join them, while the few others who got banned off the situation never explained why they did. "Oh, it was nothing." It can't be nothing, I know William too well for that. There is always a reason for these community bans, and yes I finally believed that it was just a lie. You can't just believe what other people say about people like Verax, you have to see it through yourself. That's when I told one of the people a part of the community I was completely leaving, I was leaving because I was lied to completely, I was leaving because the same people that were there to support me were in Revival for a reason and the people who didn't were back in that community. When the new community died, and it was under that one person's rule I was over. I won't mention community names, I know better than that, I won't mention who leads it now, I know better than that, and trust me if you did know would understand why you should laugh. That new community was a lie, and people were just being manipulated. There are reasons why people get banned, and you should respect them because I don't think William would ban people for no reason, even if he didn't ban them he still clearly sees the bans that happen. Once again I fucked up, so I left them completely. After making this post, I am now probably going to get sent hate messages by them which I mean I can't careless, afterward I found myself going back to Revival. You have to learn things to get by, and I learned a lot just from that one incident. If I could explain that experience in any way, just take the Nomad split to Revival and split it into reverse, that's exactly how I would explain it, it's a betrayal that came from the new, and the old was right. I'm sorry for supporting them before but now I don't, fuck that commitment to them, and fuck them for lying to me, not all of the people there just the people who manipulated that crowd, and if they are reading this, you should come back immediately.
[Finale]
We are all caught up, this SCPRP is being redone, and I'm fully ready to support it. I'm glad to see HaloRP doing extremely well. @Verax I never got to welcome you to the community but welcome. I don't know any of the new Upper Management but I welcome you to Revival, and @William I understand that this isn't new for you to see me coming back, in fact, you're probably sick of me coming back but I respect your decisions, and I'm sorry for what I said in the discord and I know sorry won't do shit but it's enough that I can do. I would love for this blacklist tags to go away but I know they're going to stay it's part of the reason I don't expect anyone to see this post, for anyone to know what it's been like, I haven't talked about my life but I just want to talk about Revival, because during my time away even when I unbookmarked Revival Servers forums anytime I got on my phone I typed it in to see what was going on, I understand my password and email was changed once which I mean after the new community I can understand if it was intentional or XenForo being stupid, I don't care but I was dedicated enough to get my account back. I feel like that's what it is, ever since MilitaryRP I've just been dedicated. I never got to appreciate William's work because all he saw was me calling it cancer while I still played on the "cancer" because inside I knew it wasn't or else I wouldn't play, and this post wouldn't have been placed. I know you won't reply to this post because of my blacklisted tags I understand, why make yourself look bad by replying to a blacklisted guy? Don't do that, but for just this once I want to hear your opinions, even if it's negative, a welcome back, or maybe just something else. I came back because I wanted to let Revival know that I didn't forget how great it was despite my horrible experiences because they were just me, and not anyone else. It's great because how else wouldn't it be, it has 90/90 on Halo. Revival practically owns HaloRP, and could easily own SCPRP, remember when were #1? Let's get back to it, I believe that new developers @Gunter and his team can do it as long as the community supports, I want the community and people who said they left or new people to see this post and realize this is bigger than what it seems, that while they can choose not to support Revival, I recommend they should. There are good people here, in fact, everyone here is good we just fuck up a lot, but that's okay, we were made to fuck things up, and learn from them, understand that. Now if I told to go away or leave, that's fine it wouldn't change my opinion that this place is good because while you tell me to leave I will find myself again coming back. You can tell me to stay, and which I will tell you I've always been here, I've always been supporting despite my negativity I thought I was doing it for the better of the server those were my intentions yet I fucked up, and I try to spread positivity and I will be ignored by many but that's fine, I'm okay with that. As long as I can see Revival grow, I'm fine with that. Thank you for so many opportunities that I truly did not deserve, and I'm sorry for fucking with things that I shouldn't have.
On a happy note, let's do some mentions.
@Lunarisᚱift Thank you for taking care of forums staff while I was gone, and I want you to continue. You are truly just an amazing person, and while you told me things that were fucked up about your life I knew you would get through it. You may be facing problems now hell I don't know but if you were able to get through what you've been through you can get through anything. I know you may have forgotten me or stopped caring about me when I left, maybe you didn't, but I can't ignore the amount of effort you've placed just to make a better community without even anyone telling you that you needed to. You are the best snowflake I knew, and I know. You don't have to reply to this thread, reading it was just fine enough.
@Major_Blackfyre I wanted to talk about you during the entire thread I was typing but I couldn't bear to just leave in mentions. Back in that new community that died, you were just basically trashed on the entire time, and for some dumbass reason I joined in. Then I look back and the only stupid thing I knew about you was your decisions when you were first O5 but that was so long ago and you changed throughout then. I couldn't really point out other than whiteknight but we love a good whiteknight, and a good ERPer. You are a good guy at heart, I know you are, and you deserve better than to be looked at as a villain and I wouldn't take it with pride, I rather you take who you are as pride than being hated on because while it seems like everyone there may hate you, I'm sure there is a lot of people here who support you and having gone through that community, I know that I support you.
@KingHarsh
@GhazghkullThraka @Rapteh @Malice @SPR12314 @Meridian @Jai @Planet Alright gather around best forums staffle team ever, were missing a lot of people but I remember each of the times all of you joined the forums staff team, even before most of you left. I remember the stupid funny memes we had in the Kik chat, and the memes that continued in the meetings, and in the discord. While the Forums Team isn't the same, I feel like the same group of people are just as great as they were then, and if not even better. Especially you SPR, who had to put up with a lot of my bullshit, and you somehow did.
@Cadet I'm leaving you out the group because I want to talk to you individually, you are the best Scottish kid I know. I'm glad you were able to move away from the bullshit circle that was happening. I heard you're doing better. I heard you're doing great things, and being as funny as you were back then. You're special because I remember you starting in TRT being so little, and while it's cringy I know but literally @Lunarisᚱift and I watched you grow metaphorically, and I couldn't have been more proud. Thank you for putting up with my bullshit.
@Enderspine @Jay @NickF @Tood You four are very new here, and I'm so glad you could be working for this community. I can say that you all deserved it because I know William knows best after having to put up, and learn from the last directors he had. I hope you all succeed, and if you fuck up, that's okay we all do, I mean what you just read shows it. Welcome to Revival Servers.
@William I've already said what many things that I wanted to but I to keep this mention short, I've already apologized but that's not what matters, I want you to keep the servers as you say "popping" and keep growing. Just basically dominate the competition, Concordia? We don't know her. Any other community? We don't know them lmao, keep going on.
@Verax As one misperceived to another, I don't know you, I don't know the full story of the drama, and I certainly I'm no longer going to pick sides but I do know if you're still around, and if William still has you here to this day. That he means business, and I know that you won't let him down but not just him the community down, you're going to do great things and as I said to the new people, if you fuck up, that's okay, we all do.
@Buggles Baka I know you hate long paragraphs so I'm just gonna say "yee to the haw", and that I love you but you're gonna probably reply with "gay" lmao
If you made it this far, you've read everything, and I thank you for that, seriously thank you for that, I hope you understand and perceive it all you want as long as I got to say what I want, as I got to praise Revival for what it deserves that is fine, I will be okay.
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