It needs more iconography and close ups. Get some more shots of other things people find synonymous with Halo. Change perspectives more as well. Action was good, but more changes in perspective would have helped a lot to diversify and capture attention.
Also, I really do not like the map this was recorded on. Too dark and gloomy, and not really the “Halo-esquire” environments people come to expect.
As a final recommendation, try to use the rule of thirds to get the most out of your audience’s attention and your shots. Make sure your action is in the four center squares.
Other than that, it was ok.